Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me TRUTH.


26 de diciembre de 2013

The Romantics (2010)

T- I owe you an apology.
L- It's okay. Don't talk about it.
T- Soy you forgive me?
L- I wouldn't push your luck. You know, heads up would have been nice...you know, nothing major, just...just a quick e-mail. You know, "Hey, Laura. Hey. I saw you last night and countless others over the last ten years and not excluding the four years we dated in collage and the year we got back together to try again, and the handful times we've slept together since. But you know that Lila and I are together now and though I've struggled endlessly with this predicament, we both know the inevitable so don't be surprised when she calls you and asks you to be her maid of honor". Although, you know what? There's another approach. It's less direct, but same effect. "Hey Laura, great seeing you last night. Great movie, great meal, great sex. But the problem is...greatness makes me sick. I'll see you at the wedding". You know, on the other hand...I mean...look, ten years of a loving friendship, sporadic incredible sex, scattered with nights so fun they explained the evolutionary purpose of talking! Not to mention the time that we clocked together, listening to music, driving with no destination. I guess this beautiful mess is best ended without notification. Probably better.
T- I'm sorry.
L- Don't be, it was a gift. An act of cowardice so complete disqualifies a person from consideration.
T- I tried to do what I thought it was right okay? It's not like I came at this lightly.
L- Oh, no...
T- Laura, you're the one who broke up with me.
L- Oh, fuck you!
T- Laura, we were seniors in collage!
L- Don't even start.
T- What did you want to do? Get married at 21? What is this? 1950?
L- No, it isn't.
T- We were too far apart! I was trying to finish my dissertation, practically living in the library! You were doing God knows what in New York City, fending off your hipster boyfriends!
L- If you are gonna patronize me, try to think of something a little more original.
T- We gave it a collage try out, Laura.
L- Yeah, we did.
T- It was an accident of timing.
L- Wow. And let me guess. Your proposal was an accident too? You got the wrong woman? Give me a freaking break.
T- You know what? What difference does it make? Just stop talking.
L- Yeah, you know what? I think that would be a very good idea.
T- Come here. Listen to me. I was a lifeguard in high-school, remember?
L- Yeah, I remember.
T- It was my favorite summer job.
L- You and every other guy in America.
T- I would sit in that chair itching to get out, dying to get into the water. And after eight hours my shift would end and I would make a break for it. But as soon I get into the water the strangest thing happened: I would start to panic.
L- Ambivalence is a disease, you know. An actual mental illness.
T- That’s not funny.
L- Let me guess, when you were a kid you would order chocolate ice cream, then immediately wish you’d gotten vanilla?
T- That’s not what I’m talking about.
L- No, I get it. You’re torn between two women.
T- What I’m trying to say is… I’m afraid of the ocean.
L- I’ll remember that the next time I swim on your cock.
T- You think you have some kind of special gift for knowing what’s in my heart.
L- No! No, I think we both do for each other!
T- Has it occurred to you that I need a woman like Lila?
L- What kind of woman is that?
T- I don’t know. Somebody happy.
L- Meaning numb.
T- Somebody practical.
L- Meaning busy.
T- Confident.
L- Meaning rich.
T- Somebody stable, who doesn’t have to tear others down to build themselves back up!
L- Oh, so in other words you’re polar opposite!
T- Yeah, maybe.
L- Well, haven’t you heard? Opposites attract and then bore each other to death!
T- Boring is better than maddening.
L- I’d rather die of excitement.
T- Hey!
L- What?!...Do you remember that paper, junior year?
T- Yeah, of course. “The Hopeless Romantics: Misconceptions of a Movement”.
L- Yeah, only you could start a 50 page paper the night before.
T- And still get an A.
L- Because I wrote it.
T- You maybe wrote half of it.
L- “Ode to a nightingale. A love song to inspiration”.
T- The Romantics weren’t writing about love, they were writing about religion.
L- Then, I’m not sure I know the difference. “Forlorn! The very word is like a bell, tolling me back from thee to my sole self!” What’s the next line?
T- I can’t remember.
L- Liar.
T- “Anybody can make a big romantic gesture. The question is, what happens after?” Do you remember? Do you remember what you said to me that night?
L- Yeah, I remember everything.
T- So, what did you say?
L- I said it was the perfect night.
T- You said it was the perfect night.
L- So?
T- So? How do I top that?
L- We had so much fun!
T- We had so much fun!
L- So what’s the problem with that?
T- The problem is every time we had one of these amazing nights, I would wake up the next morning in a freaking panic! So why don’t we spare each other a life of disappointment and get with somebody else?
L- That’s the weakest excuse I’ve ever heard! Just say it! Just say you’re in love with Lila!  
T- Do you want me to say I want to marry you? That I will spend the next 50 years regretting this very moment?
L- You inspired me!
T- You inspired me too.
L- Then we’re supposed to be together.
T- I know.
L- I’m gonna go and I’m gonna tell everyone you’re okay.
T- But I’m not, I’m not okay.
L- You chose this.
(She walks away).




5 de diciembre de 2013

ABOUT PESSIMISM

I

Estaba viendo esta película y me largué a llorar como una nena...se llama "Submarine" y cuenta la historia de un adolescente que no tiene ni la menor idea de quién es. Básicamente eso es la adolescencia, es todo aquello que no sabemos sobre nosotros mismos. No sabemos quiénes somos, ni por qué vinimos al mundo, ni lo difícil que es ser adulto, no sabemos lo que es la responsabilidad, ni el amor, ni como se supone que debemos comportarnos. No sabemos por qué hacemos la mayoría de las cosas que hacemos, ni que somos capaces de herir a alguien. 
Mi punto es que hay gente que nunca se da cuenta de esto y vive su vida como le sale porque esa es la manera en la que debería ser. Pero hay otra gente que un desgraciado día lo nota. Ya no hay vuelta atrás, no se puede olvidar algo así. Un día tus papás se separan, tu perro se muere, tu novia te deja y ya no se puede volver como si no hubiese pasado nada. Es como si al romperse el corazón de alguien mágicamente se le otorgara la habilidad de ver a los demás corazones rotos y...son muchos, casi impensados. ¿Qué pasaría si se hiciese un censo mundial para estimar la cantidad de corazones rotos que existen?
Me hubiese gustado que de chica alguien me advirtiese: "Sos lo que sos, lo vas a seguir siendo en diferentes versiones. Tu entorno va a cambiar, vas a crecer, un día te va a llegar tu primer factura impaga pero vos vas a seguir siendo básicamente vos". Soy una versión nueva de mi misma y no es como todos creen que va a ser "cuando sean grandes". No te convertís en un abogado exitoso o en una fotógrafa experimental reconocida. Sos vos leyendo libros y más libros, sacando fotos creativas, sos vos, no es alguien más. No sé si me explico...un día estás sentado en la escuela, al otro en la facultad, al otro en la oficina, al otro en la cola del pami y sos la misma persona y el tiempo...se te murió de risa en la cara.
La peli empieza con la voz en off del pibe: "Most people think of themselves as individuals, that there's no one on the planet like them. This thought motivates them to get out of bed, eat food and walk around like nothing's wrong". Yo pensé "most people"...el otro porcentaje de gente vive sabiendo que su vida no significa nada. Yo me considero parte de ese grupo de inadaptados sociales. Sé que mientras escribo esto hay mucha gente muriendo de hambre, que no importa si dejo la canilla abierta por horas porque es muy poco probable que muera de sed cuando existen cosas como el cáncer, los malos conductores o las alergias. También se que las medias naranjas o las almas gemelas no existen, que mucha gente en el mundo le sigue dando poder a la iglesia, que nunca voy a saber realmente si llegamos o no a la luna, que a la mayoría de la gente (por no decir toda) no le importa "el otro". 
Seguramente piensen que soy pesimista pero la verdad es que vivo soñando. Sueño que un día voy a terminar la carrera y voy a ayudar a alguien, sueño que voy a encontrar a mi otra mitad, tengo la esperanza de que algún día voy a sentirme cómoda en presencia de...el resto del mundo, que la vida finalmente va a ser como las películas.
Pesimismo:
  1. Propensión a ver y juzgar las cosas en su aspecto más desfavorable.
  2. Sistema filosófico que consiste en atribuir al universo la mayor imperfección posible.
Puede que algo de eso me suene familiar pero... ¿no es esa la esencia misma de la vida?, ¿no vinimos al mundo como mortales?, ¿no llegamos desde un principio ya condenados? Si es así, y sé que es así, entonces no estaría siendo nada menos que realista. 
Me vuelvo irreal cuando sueño despierta. 
Necesito un café.

C.




PROZAC NATION (1994)





Si estas mal, deprimido/a, a punto de patear la silla, etc., lee este libro y date cuenta que hay gente que está igual o mucho peor que vos. Para mi este tipo de textos salvan.
Hasta ahora mi libro favorito. Lo siento grandes escritores, I'm so mundane.   

Ah! y luego vean la peli:


(2001)

4 de diciembre de 2013

WINTER'S BONE (2010)










Just this one time...

Estoy más lejos del camino que antes, 
y más sola
y más triste
y más cansada,
me hundo dentro de mí para encontrarme
y huyo
por miedo de no encontrar nada.




Bye